Tag Archives: Blog

Be Happy

11 Apr

I was listening to a podcast the other day where Kevin Hart was a guest.  He was talking about how people celebrate negativity more than anything else.  How people focus on the bad, extend it for weeks, even months, instead of looking for positive happy things to post or talk about.  He mentioned how even through scrutiny (I think we all know his Oscars story by now) he has remained positive and happy.

Happy is defined as feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.  Unfortunately a lot of people these days are refusing to feel happy.  Yes, I used the word “refusing”.  There is always something to be grateful for, to bring a smile to our face and celebrate, if we look for the positive.  When you focus on the bad and surrender to self-pity we are refusing to be happy.  You are making that choice.

Happiness comes from within.  You can’t blame others for how you feel.  That certain situations or experiences take the joy away from us, yes, it does happen, but don’t allow yourself to be consumed by it and change you.  Allow the experiences to touch you, and grow from them.  Don’t let them swallow you and make you miserable for the rest of your life.  The way you act is what you attract.  If you are constantly sad, angry, negative, even the people who try to help you see the world differently will eventually leave.  Not because they want to but because you push them away…  when you are consumed by those negative feelings you are almost incapable of seeing that people are there for you, that they are trying to pull you out of that darkness.  You are unaware that, while they are trying to be there for you, they too have troubles and sufferings.  In your self-pity you compare yourself to others that don’t have perfect lives but, in your head they do just because they chose to smile instead of letting something consume them.  You demand attention and expect everyone to feel sorry for you but not everyone wants to live that way, and nor should they.  Actually, neither should you.

There are so many ways to break away from this self-destructive path.  Define what’s making you upset, ask yourself why.  Writing about it or talking to someone about it might be very helpful.  Allow yourself to move past the pain, the hurt, the anger…  let it go.  Life will have more experiences for you and if you don’t let some go, they will pile up until the weight is too big for you to handle it anymore.  Allow friends to be there for you when they can.  Find things that make you happy and focus on them.  Be grateful, even for the smallest things, you can’t imagine what a difference this will make.  Stop reading or watching negative posts or media.  And a very important one… stop comparing yourself to others.  Be happy with who you are, and enjoy your own life, forget about what others think or say.

Going back to Kevin Hart, he said he was happy because he chooses to be.  He focuses on the important things, family, friends, being alive, being able to do what he loves.  Not letting what others think affect him so much, and not taking things so personal.  He mentioned how someone told him that his jokes weren’t that funny anymore, he’s reply “sorry it wasn’t great for you, I’m doing my best to make it better”.  With that reply he let it go and did not dwell on it.  He even takes some of those negative comments and turns them into material for his comedy shows.  Instead of letting them bring him down, he turns them into positives.

Let’s follow his example, and the example of many other that have turned their lives around after hardship and make the most out of every day and what they have. 

Let’s all choose to be Happy!

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Be and Live for Yourself

9 Jan

Happy 2019!  Yes, I know, I’m a bit late…  Lately it’s been hard to write.  Not sure why.  I’ve traveled, made new friends, made so many fun memories with them and old ones.  Family is good and growing, and had some very happy moments this past year.  Sometimes I think it’s easier to write when you feel a void or need to something get off your chest, thankfully this year that wasn’t the case for me.

My nephew was born, my niece keeps growing healthy and with every day becomes more and more fun to be around her.  

I’ve traveled to different countries and done things I thought I would never do:  Went in a cave with waterfalls, toured the Tikal ruins, Spent New Year’s eve in Nicaragua zip lining and going up a volcano, crossed a rope bridge over crocodiles, drank wine in Napa, and celebrated Christmas in NYC.  Also got the chance to see one of my favorite bands 3 times, and all of this with my best friend.

I also ended the year with my sister’s wedding.  She was the last of my siblings to get married and it was bittersweet.  Love how happy she is, but it was tough to “let go” of my companion for so many years.  She’s been with me since she was born.  We’ve been roommates, housemates, each other’s confidant, shoulder to cry on and laughing fit buddies.  We’ve gone through life together and everything in between.  Yes, I miss her being just a door away but so proud of the woman she’s become and happy to see her find her happily ever after.

So, now it’s just me…  yes, I will always be surrounded by my family and would not have it any other way but, with all the changes I’ve lived with my siblings and family I’ve decided my 2019 resolution is to move forward too!  To live my life for me.  To act and move toward what I want and deserve.  To learn to say no, and think about me and what makes me happy and healthy.  To learn to listen to myself and accept all the emotions that may come, as they are part of who I am.  To take time off when needed, to travel more, to exercise, to open myself to experiences and try to push away fear, to be in the moment and enjoy every single one of them.

In this era of social media, and everyone comparing themselves to others, of instant gratification, and seeking attention in any way possible, the above is very important.  We can get lost in this world, and forget who we are.  May that not happen to you, or me.  May we always be true to ourselves and be happy with who we are.

Wishing everyone a wonderful year ahead!

Havana, Cuba

12 May

There might be some mixed feelings with people visiting Cuba.

I am well aware of the hardship the Cubans have gone, and still go through.  The pain, the struggle, not able to see family for a long time, not being able to go back home.  Of course I don’t agree with any of these, and my heart goes out to them.  I completely understand why some do not agree with us going there but, here is the other side…  in no particular order.

* Curiosity – This is a place that was banned for years.  Forbidden, closed, that we only were able to see by what leaked through TV or by what our friends told us about it.  So, of course once we’re allowed to go, we would want to.  It’s human nature.

* History – So much has happened in Cuba, and all has been kept almost untouched.

* Travel in time – Again, since so little from the “outside” world has touched Cuba, it’s like they are stuck in time.  Something I appreciated, since a lot reminded me of my home Puerto Rico, and helped me imagine it as it might have been years ago, maybe during my Grandmother’s time.

* The People – Beautiful, friendly, hospitable, happy.  I loved talking to all I encounter, comparing our islands, our Spanish, our accents, our food…  It was a breath of fresh air to be around people with similar culture to mine.  I would not trade these conversations and smiles for anything.

* The Ocean – just like In PR, the ocean has a distinct smell of Home.

* The Food – This is always an important part in my trips.  We do have similar dishes but the condiments, names and preparation are somewhat different.  It’s great experiencing these and maybe even incorporate in the dishes I already know.

* The Music – Salsa is a must in Cuba.  Listen and dance it!

Instead of staying at a hotel, we opted for an AirBnb. close to El Malecón, we would walk to most places.


After seeing the house, and leaving all our things, we headed out and walked blocks until we found a bar.  The setting was interesting, like a church, with ocean view.

Out first drink, you guessed it, a Cuba Libre.  The breeze and the view were amazing, so we stayed for a second one.


With reservations for dinner that night, we went back to get ready.

The restaurant La Concordia has outside seating on the 3rd floor, giving this a “rooftop” vibe.  LEDs that change color are placed on each table.  Great for a date or any type of gathering.


Saturday was my favorite day.  We started with a city tour in antique cars, which they call “Máquinas”.  Convertible, 1950 – 1960s cars, colorful and absolutely beautiful.



Several stops, plus conversation with the drivers/ tour guides, give you a good amount of information of the island, history, and culture.


Walking tour was next, which took us to “Plaza de Armas”, some Plazas, what would be considered “downtown”.  Also got to see where Hemingway drank “


Rum tour was interesting, and ended with a shot.  And while we waited for our driver, we were at the bar enjoying some live Salsa music and dancing.  What can be better than that?


A quick stop at Sloppy Joes and then off to dinner.

Dinner was a treat!  We went to  where they do Dinner and a Show with members of the Buena Vista Social Club.

The highlight here is the show…  Song after song, with incredible voices and entertaining personalities.  They make you dance, laugh, and even go on stage!  They include everyone in the audience, even singing part of songs from the countries visiting that night.

Still dancing with all the songs stuck in our heads, we found a promoter who guided us to different clubs around the area.  My favorite of the night was Cafe Tin Tin.   Live music, good drinks, dance space.  Real fun!


Next morning, and last day.  We decided to walk around one last time to take in all the beautiful views one last time.

Our AirBnb hosts were there to see us off, not without a hug first and wishing us safe travels and to come back soon.

Cuba is beautiful, so are the people…  So much to see and do… So happy I got the opportunity to experience it.

You have to “kiss a lot of frogs”

3 Aug

I recently read an article that warned women of the types of “frogs” to avoid kissing.

Well, I’m sure it’s too late for a lot of us, and even if we had read this before, we would have done it anyway…  :p

The article listed three types (I’m sure there’s more or hybrids):

1.     The bad boy.  This is the one that dresses to impress, has all the right words and knows exactly what to say.  Most (or all) his comments have sexual insinuations because his goal is to have another conquest and not a serious relationship.

2.     The controller.  This one is possessive and wants to dominate you and the relationship.  He has to know exactly what you’re doing at all times…  who you’re with and where, and is extremely jealous.  The article says this type of relationship might be addictive.

3.     The broken boy.  This one says he wants the relationship, but the experience of his last relationship(s) scare him and won’t let him fall in love again.  He will start showing you affection and make all the right moves but when it’s time to commit he will “freeze” and start backing out.

Yes, they say you have to “kiss a lot of  frogs” to find the right one but, how many is a lot?  What if you keep kissing the same one just different face/ name?  What if you have a pattern?  You know about it but can’t seem to break it…  So I ask, when do you get tired of the same thing over and over and change the tune?

I know this is usually where I insert a positive/ inspirational thought or answer but today, I don’t think I can.  I’m still dealing with this one myself and, if I’m honest, think I might keep failing to change it for a while.  It’s tough breaking patterns and habits…  Especially when there’s some good times in them.

You hear your family and friends say, or even think to yourself, you deserve so much better, a “good” guy will come and will make you realize what you need but, truth is, it’s in us to realize that and give that guy a chance.  A thousand might come our way, right in front of our noses, even try to get to know us but, if we’re not ready or still looking at a “frog” it won’t matter.  It’s up to you, and only you, to open your eyes and realize what “good” really is and what really matters.

Huh!  Look at that…  I did give some advice…  now the hard part is following it.  Good luck!!!

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Loss

4 Mar

We’ve always heard “death is part of life”, “death is the most natural thing in the world”, “death is the only sure thing we have”. Unfortunately I recently had to hear these over and over again, and know those statements are true… As I grow older, I realize more will leave us.

If death is “a natural part of life” I guess we should consider goodbyes the same but, if these are “natural” things, why do they hurt so much? Why do we not get used to it easily?

Death is not the only loss we suffer during life, we also suffer loss when a friend or love walks away. In a way, it’s death as well, the death of that relationship.

Actual death is inevitable, and definitive. We cry, we miss but, in the end, we must resign knowing there’s nothing we can do about it.

Why then do we fight to keep the ones who walk away? Why don’t we resign to see it as the death of the relationship? After all, those who walked away did it willingly. Is it human nature, the need to control or understand a situation, the love we have for them that won’t let us give up because we know that person is still alive and hope there’s a second chance?

I think fairy tales and movies have something to do with this. Even in those death is final but, love lasts forever. It can move mountains, survive any fight, misunderstanding, war, distance, etc.

We relive in our heads the words they said to us, the moments we had together, the things we wanted to do with them.

We look for a way to get them back, to be what they want, to be happy with them.

We hold on…

Thinking about it now, I guess it’s human nature. The way we do it is not the same but, we do hold on to the loved ones that have passed as well. We keep them alive in our hearts and memory. Those memories help us cope with the sorrow, and even bring smiles and laughter. Those memories are what we have to hold on, and we never let go.

So, what’s really natural and certain is that we love, and that’s why it hurts. Either way they left us, we love them, and we were not ready to say goodbye. They leave both heartache and memories.

We try any way we can to keep them in our lives, and when it’s not possible we mourn them, we miss them.

Those still alive, we hold on to the hope they come back soon, and the rest we hope to see again in the future.

In the end, they all leave a mark, one that will live with us forever and shape who we are. A mark only ours, that no one can heal, take away or match. We love them, and they’ll be forever in our hearts.

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Be a Writer

14 Jan

You know, keeping a blog isn’t easy…

One sets a goal to write every  so often, let’s say at least once a month, to gain and keep subscribers, to prove yourself that you have something to say and write about, as an outlet to vent when talking is hard, whatever the reason, it just isn’t easy.

You see, when you have this type of blog, the one without a specific topic, or someone telling you what to write about, you write about personal experiences or things you talk about with friends.  You write about your trips, your eats, what you see and feel.  On these topics, we all have a lot to say, problem is, we don’t always want everyone to hear.  Our heads and hearts are filled with hundreds of emotions daily.  Countless stories, new and old, can be told in one day so, why don’t we?

I’ve written before about how one should not feel ashamed or embarrassed by what or how we feel but, that’s easier said than done.

Sometimes what comes to our heart to write is too personal we are scared to share it with the world.  Maybe not even with the world but just one person in specific.  We are afraid of how we might be perceived, how vulnerable we feel, what people will say, and how will it affect how they treat us.  Or, we might have the happiest news, but afraid to share it scared we might jinx it, or scared that if at the end it doesn’t end well, we have to write the unfortunate update.

Still, writing is a great outlet.  Someone once told me “Take pictures when you’re happy and write when you’re sad so, in the future, when you’re sad, the pictures remind you of happy times and the writing shows you how far you’ve come and the experiences that made you who you are” (something along those lines).  I write… not all makes it to this blog or to anyone’s eyes but, I see it, I feel it, and it helps me release what weighs me down.  When I read it, later on, when the feelings are more tamed, it helps me analyze the situation and my thoughts better.  It helps me live the moment again, with a new perspective.

We might not all be bloggers but I believe we all should be writers, writers of our own stories.

Grab a pen, a keyboard, anything and write away.  Let your spirit flow in that blank page, not for the world to see but for you.  Discover yourself, what you feel, what you want and need.  Writing will allow you to see many sides of you, you might have not known existed.  Relive the moments and feelings, and let your own words show you a new light to them.

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2014 is coming to an end…

30 Dec

As we celebrate and welcome the new year, we can’t help to look back and think, even if it’s for a moment, about the past.

I’m sure we’ve all had some ups & downs, heartaches & love, loses & gains, tears & laughter…  Through it all, we’ve learned, we’ve become stronger, gained new perspective on things and, hopefully, appreciation of the important things in life.

Cherish the wonderful memories, enjoy the simple pleasures, value family and true friendship, as these are the real treasures and what makes every year special.

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