Tag Archives: relationships

Actions Speak Louder…

8 Aug

“Actions speak louder than words”

How many times have we heard that?  How many times have we experienced that?  How many times until you believe it?  Until you see it and move on?

People say they want to be in relationships.  That they like a person, that they want to give “this” a chance.  The initial excitement is mutual, you smile, you text, you find events and things in common to see each other.  You get more into a routine and things start slowing down.  You think it’s normal, you still want to give “this” a chance, and you keep going.

You text, and text, and text…

To ask about your day, you text

To say I miss you , you text

To say you feel something’s wrong, you text

To argue, you text.

… people just don’t talk anymore, and that is a huge problem.

Between text and text, there starts to be a disconnect.  You feel like there’s no effort put into “this”, like you are not worth anything else to that person, other than just a text.

Going back to actions…   A text is not one.  Making plans, and following with them is.  Celebrating achievements in someone’s life is.  Saying “we’ll do this together” and actually doing it is.  Saying you’ll be there and show up is.  The thought, contrary to what “they say”, is not what counts.  It’s actually even worse…  you thought about it but didn’t find that person worthy of following through with that thought.

Excuses are thrown left and right, of course, all through text, and “this” just keeps getting harder and harder.  Frustration, doubt, detachment, disillusion…  It’s done, and even though you tried talking it out, it ends up being as it all started, in a text.

It’s sad how our society has gone to something so impersonal to “build” relationships.  Dating apps, chats, texts, FB, no actual human contact.  I feel like sometimes people don’t know how to relate to each other anymore.

Thing is that those social media sites speak very loud about your actions.  While you throw excuses for not being there, social media tells the truth, and show your true actions…  where you were, what you rather be doing, and with whom, etc.  All your excuses and lies, exposed.  The same apps and sites that might have gotten you together, help break you.

Get off that phone!  Talk!  Establish and actual bond between you.  SHOW that you want “this”, don’t just text it.

Let your actions do the talk.  And, equally important, learn to listen to those.

Actions - words

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Friend(ship)

4 Nov

Through life you meet a lot of people.

Some are just acquaintances, some become friend, others, even more than that, they become family.

There’s people who instantly click with you.  Other’s take a little more time to fit in your life but, when they do, they belong there.

Allowing people to get close, allowing yourself to open up to them is a blessing.  It expands your world, your heart, your experiences.

These people can bring a lot of good, new perspectives, laughter, and even more friends into your life.

They can also teach you lessons.

Unfortunately, it can also cause hurt.  The people that come into your life, even if they become really close, not always stay.

Sometimes you click with someone immediately, share things together in a short time, but they change, or they no longer want to be a part of your life, or maybe they don’t know how to be in it.  Maybe you’re not what they expected, or maybe timing or circumstances are just not right.  There can be so many reasons but the result is still the same.  Regardless of how much time you spent with each other, you create an attachment and you miss them when they are no longer there, physically or otherwise.

It’s hard letting go.  It’s hard knowing how to act around them if you keep seeing them.

You try to act normal but you can’t because, yes, at one point you were strangers but, after you share time/ conversations/ feelings/ etc., is hard to go back to “not knowing each other”.  You miss that person that was your friend, you miss the silly texts, the laughs, the person you used to talk to.

It’s sad when this happens.  Some just move one.   Some say “good riddance” and don’t think about it anymore.

Personally, I don’t know if it’s my optimism, or hope in everyone, but I hold on.  Even when I don’t show it, I do.

I keep holding on to the qualities of the person I met, and became my friend (or more than that).  I keep thinking we can find what we had again.

I do believe that if you really care, you make it work.  That giving up on people is like giving up on yourself.  We all deserve second chances.  We all go through things when we are not “ourselves”, or things that make us change.  But our core (usually) always stays the same, and that’s the part I hang on to.

Yes, maybe I hang on for too long, and for more than what some people deserve.

Yes, it hurts when they show (or seems) like they don’t care.

Yes, at that point I think maybe they weren’t worth it, and maybe no one really is.  But I erase that thought off my head and go back to thinking, What if I hadn’t tried?  What if I could have saved that friendship/ relationship?

In my opinion, it’s always better to try again, and again, than to live your life with a “what if”.  Those are hard to shake off.

As is part of life, some of my attempts have not succeeded.  I’ve had to let go of people, and some have walked away from me.

We’ve all had our reasons, but I am glad I tried and don’t regret any moment I spent with each of them.

Still, I will keep fighting for my friends, and to keep them in my life.

Sometimes, if I feel disappointed or let down, it might seem like I’ve given up, but I haven’t.

If I have called you a friend, it’s because you are exactly that, and I hold on dearly to them.

If we’re going (or go) through a rough patch, I will hold on until we can work it out or exhaust all options to do so.

To those who have stuck around through years, laughs and tears  – thank you for being my blessings.

Friendship is something I’ve always been lucky and very grateful to have.  Something I think everyone should have in high regards.

Strengthen those bonds, don’t treat people like their replaceable.  Create connections, invest in them, protect them.

Life is so much better with the people you care in it.

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Acrobats and Aerial Dancers 

3 Oct

A couple of years ago I went to see Cirque du Soleil: Amaluna.  Beautiful show, with a love story in it.

As most of you know, these shows are always filled with acrobats and aerial dancers.  Looking at these people fly and jump, trusting their partners are ready to catch them, made me think about relationships.

I know these people practice day in and day out, and I’m sure they’ve probably  fallen dozens of times, if not more, but they still trust their partners and keep doing these stunts.  

Why is it so hard to do that in a relationship?  Why are we so afraid to trust, to be vulnerable, to open ourselves and jump?

Why with one “fall” we step down and take so long to try again?

While I watched these people “fly” so freely, with a smile on their face, I felt a little envious of that freedom and feeling.

Again, they practice, and their partners reassure them they are ready and reliable…  it takes two to achieve this wonderful trusting relationship.  If one fails everything falls.  In relationships the result  is not a bruise or broken bone but a broken heart, which sometimes takes longer to mend.

I say we work on trusting and being there for our partner.  It’s a give and take, a balance we can achieve together.  Stop being afraid, take the leap, jump!  Hopefully you’re caught in the air and taken on a magical “aerial dance”.