Adjust your Attitude

18 Jan

I’ve never been one to make New Year’s Resolutions.  Have always believed that if you really want to achieve something, or change something, you don’t have to wait for a specific date to do it.  But, this past year, one of my friends sent a “challenge” on our group text.  She asked us to “think of one word that you want to guide you or achieve in 2017”.

I liked the word “guide”, to me it entails thought, consciousness, a process.  To me it’s something you work on and allow it to transform you.  A helpful companion.

I thought a bit and the word “attitude” was the one that came to mind.  The definition of attitude is:  a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior.

It’s a constant fight, in a lot of us, to adjust the way we see things.  The way we perceive things is shaped by what we believe.  Sometimes, those believes are based on things we hear, or things we think we know or saw; things that we assume but have no facts of.

Our way of seeing things is also shaped by past experiences.  We allow those things to shape our world, to hold us hostage, in a sense, and are not able to see things in a different light.

This is why I chose this word to guide my new year, “attitude/ perception”.  I want to work on how I see things, how I let them affect me.  Work on understanding that I am the one who allows what hurts me, how long it hurts me, or if I just let it go, and leave it in the past.  Work on seeing things in a positive light, believe that things “happen for you, not to you”.   See that sometimes we allow our thoughts, imagination, or other people’s words/ experiences affect how we see things, but aren’t necessarily true.  That if we allow time to pass, or see things without a biased mind, we could be surprised and see a different outcome.

Sometimes by us closing ourselves, or allowing our “wrong” perception of things dictate our attitude, we miss on opportunities, and just create more misunderstandings, disillusions, and heartaches for ourselves and the ones around us.

I’ve always found writing is a great therapy.  This is one of the methods I’ve employed in the past and started again to help me with my 2017 challenge.

Writing helps you release all those thoughts and feelings.  It allows us to read them at a later time, analyze and better understand what we were going through.  Sometimes even realize that, we might have overreacted, that things weren’t as we thought at the moment, or they can validate what we felt and still feel.

Yes, we need people to talk to, to vent, but I’ve learned that, when we know ourselves, and are true to our feelings, we are our best listener and counsellor.

Make yourself open up, to yourself and life.  Allow yourself to see different sides of a thought, or situation.  Choose to pick the best case scenario, to be positive.

Adjust your attitude to benefit you, to see life in an optimistic light.  You are free to change how you react to things, and keep moving forward towards a happier you.

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New Year’s Resolution 

30 Dec

As we approach the New Year, and all are making resolutions and thinking how to improve themselves, I came across a quote today that immediately spoke to me…

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be better, to welcome change, to move forward, but none of this is possible if we don’t know and are comfortable with ourselves, with who we really are.

We might get lost, in so many different ways, if we are not truly ourselves and those resolutions and improvements are made for others instead of us.

The quote is in Spanish, my native language, translated it says:

“This that you see, is me, no more no less.  A being, a piece of humanity, a handful of laughs, and a bit of crazy, a chunk of sweetness, with all my honesty.  A woman, but sometimes a girl, sometimes space and sometimes infinity, sometimes passion, sometimes freedom.   This is all I have, all I am; it’s not much but it’s everything”

Accept your quirks, your contradictions, your hopes and dreams, everything that makes you unique and who you really are.

Being true to ourselves is what will help us welcome the new year happy and with the right foot forward.

May your resolution be to be happy with yourself!   To make these words your own:   “This that you see is me…  it’s everything”

Travel – Austin, TX

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Traveling can be so many things to so many people.

I can’t imagine someone not liking to travel.

You see traveling to me can be:

  1. An escape. I think we all feel the need to get away.  To see something new, to get out of the routine, to feel alive, to leave the problems and voices, that sometimes hunt us, behind.  To pretend you have a new life even if it’s for a few days.
  1. An Education – everywhere you go you learn something new. Culture, history, the people, traditions… all these can teach us so much and expand our world.
  1. A bonding experience – be it with friends, family, significant other. Traveling brings people together.  Traveling can be a meeting place for those who live far, it can be a great way to get to know that other person better, it builds memories we’ll remember for the rest of our lives and will keep us united even if in those memories.
  1. A Health booster – I’m not an exercise person but LOVE cities where I can walk everywhere. Fresh air, cardio, clear mind, this revives anyone’s spirits.
  1. A Networking opportunity – when you travel for business this is obvious, but even when for leisure we encounter so many people that is hard not to talk about our work. Sometimes from these conversations opportunities arise, either to build your own network or help others do so, and/ or grow in their business.
  1. A Feast – Food, New flavors, Music, Local Craft Beer, signature drinks.  All these enhance your travel experience and might even influence your kitchen when you are back home.
  1. Relaxing – you can just travel and do absolutely nothing. Sleep in, lay on the beach, stroll your way around without a schedule.

Most of my trips are a combination of all of the above.  Take my last trip for example… Austin, TX

My friends and I have very different lives.  Distance, work, others have kids, school, an active social life…  We not always have the time to get together, much less travel together.

Thankfully this past week 2 of my friends and I were able to.  To this day we don’t know how we decided on Austin – maybe because it was a place neither of us had been… point was we all were ready for a trip.  End of the year – done with school, work, and routine, this would be our very well deserved break.

We got to see Capital State, plus got to see beautiful architecture both modern and old.

We found a great location to stay where we could walk almost everywhere.  Take in the air of the city, scenery, and gave us a chance to talk even more, laugh, share stories, and create memories together.

Food was absolutely amazing.  There was not one meal we did not enjoy fully in Austin.  Every one we talked to and said this to, their reply was “that’s what you do here, eat and drink”, and that we did.

The absolute MUSTS for me were:

Odd duck – very interesting menu, with incredible variety of flavors

Gordough’s Public House – everything donuts.  Burger, sandwiches, dessert, and beer towers, all coming out of a tin food truck parked on their patio outside.  How fun is that?!?

Eberly – absolutely beautiful place with exquisite food and décor.

Lick Honest Ice Cream – flavors that you might not think off all blend together perfectly in this ice cream heaven.

A glass of wine overlooking the Lake, at Alta’s might be the perfect way to relax here.

Another great way to relax is visiting some of their local breweries – some, like Jester King are designed to spend a day there drinking, eating, playing games, or just enjoying the beautiful sight.

Not sure why they say “Keep Austin Weird”.  Didn’t ask anyone but, maybe it’s for their street art – They have the Hope Outdoor Gallery but everywhere you go you might see beautiful street art that speaks to you.  

Maybe it’s all the guitars you find throughout the city, starting at the airport, all painted in different themes.

Maybe it’s their artists and it’s music.  Sure came across a very interesting and entertaining one at The Continental Club.​

Or maybe it’s their mix of old and new buildings meshed together.  Or maybe the fact that one of their attractions are bats, or, if you ask me, the crazy weather – we had temps of 56 degrees to 73 degrees, then dropped to 29 degrees – yes, I would say that is weird.

Weird or not, Austin was definitely fun, delicious, out of the ordinary, and a trip with friends we’ll never forget.


 

Friend(ship)

4 Nov

Through life you meet a lot of people.

Some are just acquaintances, some become friend, others, even more than that, they become family.

There’s people who instantly click with you.  Other’s take a little more time to fit in your life but, when they do, they belong there.

Allowing people to get close, allowing yourself to open up to them is a blessing.  It expands your world, your heart, your experiences.

These people can bring a lot of good, new perspectives, laughter, and even more friends into your life.

They can also teach you lessons.

Unfortunately, it can also cause hurt.  The people that come into your life, even if they become really close, not always stay.

Sometimes you click with someone immediately, share things together in a short time, but they change, or they no longer want to be a part of your life, or maybe they don’t know how to be in it.  Maybe you’re not what they expected, or maybe timing or circumstances are just not right.  There can be so many reasons but the result is still the same.  Regardless of how much time you spent with each other, you create an attachment and you miss them when they are no longer there, physically or otherwise.

It’s hard letting go.  It’s hard knowing how to act around them if you keep seeing them.

You try to act normal but you can’t because, yes, at one point you were strangers but, after you share time/ conversations/ feelings/ etc., is hard to go back to “not knowing each other”.  You miss that person that was your friend, you miss the silly texts, the laughs, the person you used to talk to.

It’s sad when this happens.  Some just move one.   Some say “good riddance” and don’t think about it anymore.

Personally, I don’t know if it’s my optimism, or hope in everyone, but I hold on.  Even when I don’t show it, I do.

I keep holding on to the qualities of the person I met, and became my friend (or more than that).  I keep thinking we can find what we had again.

I do believe that if you really care, you make it work.  That giving up on people is like giving up on yourself.  We all deserve second chances.  We all go through things when we are not “ourselves”, or things that make us change.  But our core (usually) always stays the same, and that’s the part I hang on to.

Yes, maybe I hang on for too long, and for more than what some people deserve.

Yes, it hurts when they show (or seems) like they don’t care.

Yes, at that point I think maybe they weren’t worth it, and maybe no one really is.  But I erase that thought off my head and go back to thinking, What if I hadn’t tried?  What if I could have saved that friendship/ relationship?

In my opinion, it’s always better to try again, and again, than to live your life with a “what if”.  Those are hard to shake off.

As is part of life, some of my attempts have not succeeded.  I’ve had to let go of people, and some have walked away from me.

We’ve all had our reasons, but I am glad I tried and don’t regret any moment I spent with each of them.

Still, I will keep fighting for my friends, and to keep them in my life.

Sometimes, if I feel disappointed or let down, it might seem like I’ve given up, but I haven’t.

If I have called you a friend, it’s because you are exactly that, and I hold on dearly to them.

If we’re going (or go) through a rough patch, I will hold on until we can work it out or exhaust all options to do so.

To those who have stuck around through years, laughs and tears  – thank you for being my blessings.

Friendship is something I’ve always been lucky and very grateful to have.  Something I think everyone should have in high regards.

Strengthen those bonds, don’t treat people like their replaceable.  Create connections, invest in them, protect them.

Life is so much better with the people you care in it.

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40 years YOUNG

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If you are 40, or passed it, I’m sure you’ve been asked the “mandatory” question…  “so, how does it feel?”

I just got to the “4th level” of life, and was just asked that.

Personally, I’ve always been a kid at heart, and my family and friends embrace it and help me stay young despite the years.

Perfect example was the surprise party my family planned for me.

As a true “forever young” celebration, they gave me, my very own Wonderland!

Whoever saw them planning, probably thought this was a kid’s party, but no, this was a 40th birthday, and the most Wonderful one!

Everyone dressed up according to the theme, including me of course.

They had the Queen’s Court with the Flamingo Croquet outside.

As soon as I walked in, I was transported to a magical land.

Butterflies hanging from the ceiling.

The Mad Hatter’s Tea table, with lots of food and the most AMAZING cake!

The Cheshire Cat, of course, was there too.

Drinks, props for photos, and music to dance to.

This was the perfect way to celebrate!  It’s a “place” I always wanted visit, and they created it for me.

They all went along with my inner kid, and I can’t express how happy I am to have them all share it with me.

So to answer the “mandatory” question:  I felt more like a kid than 40.  I feel happy, loved, and blessed.

Yes, my state of mind and heart keep me young, but also my incredible family and friends, who always make me smile.

Thank you all for celebrating my 40 years YOUNG with me, and being part of my life.

Can’t wait to celebrate many moments more with you all.

Remember, Age is just a number…  and it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you age and spend the time in between.

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Acrobats and Aerial Dancers 

3 Oct

A couple of years ago I went to see Cirque du Soleil: Amaluna.  Beautiful show, with a love story in it.

As most of you know, these shows are always filled with acrobats and aerial dancers.  Looking at these people fly and jump, trusting their partners are ready to catch them, made me think about relationships.

I know these people practice day in and day out, and I’m sure they’ve probably  fallen dozens of times, if not more, but they still trust their partners and keep doing these stunts.  

Why is it so hard to do that in a relationship?  Why are we so afraid to trust, to be vulnerable, to open ourselves and jump?

Why with one “fall” we step down and take so long to try again?

While I watched these people “fly” so freely, with a smile on their face, I felt a little envious of that freedom and feeling.

Again, they practice, and their partners reassure them they are ready and reliable…  it takes two to achieve this wonderful trusting relationship.  If one fails everything falls.  In relationships the result  is not a bruise or broken bone but a broken heart, which sometimes takes longer to mend.

I say we work on trusting and being there for our partner.  It’s a give and take, a balance we can achieve together.  Stop being afraid, take the leap, jump!  Hopefully you’re caught in the air and taken on a magical “aerial dance”.

You have to “kiss a lot of frogs”

3 Aug

I recently read an article that warned women of the types of “frogs” to avoid kissing.

Well, I’m sure it’s too late for a lot of us, and even if we had read this before, we would have done it anyway…  :p

The article listed three types (I’m sure there’s more or hybrids):

1.     The bad boy.  This is the one that dresses to impress, has all the right words and knows exactly what to say.  Most (or all) his comments have sexual insinuations because his goal is to have another conquest and not a serious relationship.

2.     The controller.  This one is possessive and wants to dominate you and the relationship.  He has to know exactly what you’re doing at all times…  who you’re with and where, and is extremely jealous.  The article says this type of relationship might be addictive.

3.     The broken boy.  This one says he wants the relationship, but the experience of his last relationship(s) scare him and won’t let him fall in love again.  He will start showing you affection and make all the right moves but when it’s time to commit he will “freeze” and start backing out.

Yes, they say you have to “kiss a lot of  frogs” to find the right one but, how many is a lot?  What if you keep kissing the same one just different face/ name?  What if you have a pattern?  You know about it but can’t seem to break it…  So I ask, when do you get tired of the same thing over and over and change the tune?

I know this is usually where I insert a positive/ inspirational thought or answer but today, I don’t think I can.  I’m still dealing with this one myself and, if I’m honest, think I might keep failing to change it for a while.  It’s tough breaking patterns and habits…  Especially when there’s some good times in them.

You hear your family and friends say, or even think to yourself, you deserve so much better, a “good” guy will come and will make you realize what you need but, truth is, it’s in us to realize that and give that guy a chance.  A thousand might come our way, right in front of our noses, even try to get to know us but, if we’re not ready or still looking at a “frog” it won’t matter.  It’s up to you, and only you, to open your eyes and realize what “good” really is and what really matters.

Huh!  Look at that…  I did give some advice…  now the hard part is following it.  Good luck!!!

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